another day ----> done!!

days remaining:  30  (only the month of september left, wow!!)

i have gotten several responses from loved ones about my blog.  apparently i come off as really sad or depressed.  the more i think about it, the more i realize that is indeed the case.  i had been feeling really down in the dumps, really stuck where i was, and really helpless to change my position.  so i started this blog and i set a few goals to better myself.  i believe that this blog is helping me alot- not that i will ever be a scribe for rainbows and sunshine or anything...  it gives me a chance to log not only my emotions, but also my accomplishments.  i really don't give myself enough credit for the good that i do, and this blog is making me realize that.  that said, despite my pessimistic nature (and apparently pessimistic writing style) i am quite content overall.  i would really love to better myself, and right now i feel like sharing some of the sadder thoughts within me is really helping me grow.  so fear not family and friends!!  there is no need to check me into the psych ward just yet.

on a random note, why does it always seem that whenever there is an upcoming event my skin goes insane?  i haven't broken out in weeks, and now that i am headed up to msp this weekend i am zits-a-go-go!!  grrr....  hopefully with my diligent skin care (bless you proactiv) it will clear enough to look decent with makeup over it for the weekend.  if not, i am seeing old friends who won't care one bit- they have certainly seen me in worse condition.  (feel free to imagine scenarios here, chances are there's some truth in anything that might come to mind.)  anyway, back to the workout at hand.

most people i know that workout on a regular basis much prefer to run/walk outside where the view changes.  i am the exact opposite- give me an elliptical or treadmill any day.  i love to just be in one spot, left with only my own mind to focus on (none of that scenery crap), jogging until my heart pounds heavy in my chest.  i like to feel my body working.  i think alot of people enjoy exercise only with some type of diversion, something that takes their mind off of the energy their bodies are using, to let the exercise part fade into the background.  maybe it's because i am new to regular exercise, but i really revel in the motions that i go through.  i like to hear my breathing get faster and feel my heart begin to really pump.  i enjoy the heat radiating from my back and the tops of my legs as they propel me onward.  the body is an amazing thing to behold; everything just clicking away, straining to better itself, incredible.  i also really enjoy the monotony.  it provides more of an escape for me than any nature path ever could.

i completed my 2 miles for today on the elliptical. i decided to jog in reverse for the first 15 minutes.  it feels so good to use new muscles and switch things up just a bit.  i can't seem to master the use of the arm poles while going backwards, so instead i just did some overhead presses while i trotted my distance away.  i had originally wanted to go backwards for my entire workout today, but since that involved using muscles that hadn't moved in the last decade, i had a change of plans.  the 15 minutes backward satisfied 1.20 miles, and i challenged myself to run the last 0.80 miles in only 5 minutes.  whew!!  that was hard, but i did it!  i usually just walk and stretch for about 5 minutes after i finish on the elliptical, but this time i had to spend 10 to get my heart rate back down.  it felt really good to go full out.  my body can do alot more than i give it credit for. 

someday i would like to be able to jog my 2 miles outside.  i can do it on the ellptical just fine, but that doesn't translate to the same muscles in the real world.  the pounding of your feet/knees on the pavement also takes it's toll.  way back in high school i had gotten in pretty good shape by mistake by working over the summer at cline's garden center.  i spent 40+ hours a week walking and carrying, and everything else physical that needed to be done.  the summer between junior and senior years is the healthiest i have ever been, and i did it without even trying.  in gym class senior year, i was able to run half a mile without any trouble.  i want to get back to that.  it seems like such a small goal when i have friends that are participating in half-marathons and whole marathons, but i have to start somewhere that makes sense for me.  a few months ago getting up from the  couch to walk to the fridge would have been considered an accomplishment!! 

i am trying not to get ahead of myself, but i'm also trying to think of what goals i am going to set next.  i realize that long-term goals don't work for me.  that gives me too much time for leniency and excuses in the beginning.  i think that a month-long goal works pretty well.  i also can't quite decide if i want to start a whole new set of goals, or if i want to add another onto the set that i already have.  hmmm....  deep thoughts....  i guess it doesn't matter since i have a whole month to get through before i need to worry about it.

woo hoo!!  i completed my goal for the full 8 days that remained in august.  now bring on september!!