vacation didn't involve much exercising, despite my planning. oh well. i decided to cut myself some slack since it was vacation and all. i did end up doing my miles 2 out of the 4 days we were gone, albeit unintentionally. (fear not, stories to follow.) the car ride went really well, although i'm pretty sure that audrey only slept for 30 min of the 7 hour ride. she wasn't even fussy until the last half an hour, but at that point, tempers were pretty short all around. we all settled in nicely at my mother-in-law's house, since she was out of town for the weekend. i ran to the grocery store; we didn't feel like hauling milk and string cheese across the country. when i got back, all was peaceful, though ryan said aud had peeped a bit about 20 min after she settled down, but was quiet after that. waking up again is pretty unusual for her, but i chalked it up to being stuck in a pack n play that was jammed in a spare bedroom instead of her crib at home.
a few hours later when ry and i decided to turn in, i was getting a little nervous about being able to hear audrey if she cried out since i was sleeping next to an air conditioner running at full blast. ryan decided to go in and check on her one last time. he immediately returned with wide eyes reporting that she had pooped. my heart sank. was i supposed to wake up a baby that had finally settled down in a strange place because my husband thought that she might have pooped? i needed to check for myself. i leaned over my angel- she was out cold. i sniffed- she smelled alright. there was a faint odor in the room, but the house in general had a strange scent, so i decided that everything was ok. i wasn't going to wake up a sleeping baby when obviously she was perfectly fine. so, to bed we went, though the churning in the pit of my stomach continued.
as i layed on the cement slab my mother-in-law insisted was a bed, questions kept nagging. would i be able to hear audrey if she needed me? what if she had pooped? was she going to wake up scared in the night? was i even ever going to get to sleep? i did my best to settle in, and started my usual evening prayer. (i still say the children's prayer that hung on a plaque in my room growing up. it now hangs in audrey's room and i say it with her each night too.) WWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! i instantly emitted a sigh of relief. at the very least i knew that hearing her cry wasn't anything to worry about. ryan got up to give aud a kiss and assure her that all was going to be fine. i reminded him to check on the poop situation. he came back a few minutes later, she had calmed down, and the status report was again poop-free. i still couldn't shake the nagging i felt, it wasn't normal for her to cry out so much if she was ok. hmmm.... back to my prayer. "dear lord, if audrey needs me, please let her tell me." no more than 15 minutes later i got my answer.
ryan had all but passed out the minute his head hit the pillow, so when audrey cried out again, he did his best to mumble the declaration that it was my turn. so it was. i got up figuring it would be a quick trip and left my glasses tucked under the bed. the minute i picked audrey up i knew that she needed to be changed. my worst fears had been realized. so there i was in a dark, unfamiliar house with no glasses, a screaming baby, and creaky, hardwood stairs that are begging for someone to plummet to their death. naturally the diapers and wipes were still zipped in a suitcase, too. i screamed for help. thankfully ryan is super dad and came to my rescue immediately, even thoug i'm sure he was out cold. disaster averted. the only problems remaining were trying to remember to buy more butt paste (i had used about 6 pounds trying to prevent a rash after the littles having to wear a dirty diaper for 4 hours) and getting a traumatized baby back to sleep. well, i had yet to do my 2 miles for the day anyway. i walked and rocked that sweet, little girl for almost an hour. i doubt that that was my full 2 miles, but i didn't really care at that point. i finally made it to bed around 2 am. it was a really long night.
i skipped my exercise on saturday, but walked all over hell and back in my wedding shoes on sunday, so i'm counting sunday as a successful exercise day too. my calves were on fire after standing, dancing, and tromping around on 4 inch heels for 7 hours. i took yesterday off as well, i needed a break. the car trip home was less desirable than the trip there. audrey didn't want to be in her carseat anymore, but whenever we tried to stop she didn't want to do anything at the places we were either. she was just at the end of her rope after 4 days away. i think that's pretty reasonable. we were all ready to be home again.
today was a great day of getting back to our usual schedule. like normal, i was ready for naptime long before audrey was. we just relaxed and enjoyed being home again. i was supposed to go to the grocery store, but decided to defrost some of the lasagna that i made last week and deal with the store tomorrow. as i found myself enjoying the quiet evening after audrey had gone to bed (without a peep, mind you), i remembered this blog and my goals. a good portion of me thought, "who cares? no one's reading this anyway. you already skipped 2 days, so you didn't make your goal as it is!" my inner demons came screaming out. i watched the cubs game, procrastinating further. then i looked throught the on-demand movies and found "the secret life of bees." i had read the book a while back, and really wanted to see the movie. so i rented it. but then i paused it. the house was still a mess, and i knew that i wouldn't want to deal with that later, so i decided to pick up first. drat!! my rational side was getting the better of me. i supposed i had better just do my 2 miles and then watch the movie. so here i am, 2 miles complete, movie watched, back on track! it feels so good to be back to the grind.
days remaining: 22
on a non-exercise related note, when i was out at the grocery store earlier friday evening, i decided that i wanted to go look at my condo by myself. at first i had asked ryan to come with me, but the more i thought about it, the more i wanted to be alone. it was my place, no one else's. i wanted to say goodbye in my own way. as i pulled in the parking lot i noticed some of the same cars from when i lived there. not much had changed. i had butterflies in my stomach, and was starting to doubt my coming. maybe i didn't want to do this by myself, maybe i didn't want to see the place at all. i had a case of divine intervention again (well, technically this was first, and audrey crying out was later, but i'm telling it out of order in this blog.) my key didn't work. i tried 3 doors, testing each multiple times. i thought about waiting around for someone to let me in the outside door, but you need a key to get on each floor, so i thought i might be stuck there too. i took it as a sign that i wasn't meant to be there. that time in my life was over, sealed sadly by the forcloseure on the condo that i could no longer get into. perhaps it had been cleared out already. i didn't know, and i guess it really doesn't matter. i had wonderful memories there, both in minneapolis and in my condo. i will always miss my friends. but i am so happy with my life right now! that in itself is such a foreign feeling for me.
so i sign off for the evening with a hint of nostalgia for a time that i once enjoyed, and gladness filling my heart for the life i have now.
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