done early today!

days remaining:  33!!!!!!!

do you believe it?  i've almost been at this a week!  i know that doesn't sound like much, but since i've tried to quit twice already, i think that's a pretty big accomplishment.  tonight was short and sweet.  i was in the mood to go fast.  a stupid viral video on child abuse really got under my skin and i needed the speed to work it out of my system.  i just turned up my ipod and huffed along as quickly as i could.  as of this moment i am feeling alot better about it, but i can't figure out if that's because i got my blood pumping or because i chatted a bit about the video with my good friend melissa.  either way, i feel great now and have the rest of the night ahead of me!

(insert big sigh of relief here) i am so So SO thankful that ryan will be back tonight/tomorrow morning.  i miss him when he's gone.  i miss having my support system around, both for my crazy mental breakdowns involving miscellaneous videos and helping with audrey.  she will be so excited to see her daddy tomorrow too.  her little eyes lit up when i had ry on speaker phone this afternoon.  when he's gone, it just breaks my heart to watch her run down the hall to his empty office or see her stare back at the empty bed where he's usually still sleeping when she and i get up in the morning.  since he normally works from home, she really takes it hard when her daddy's not around.  and it's not any grand trips for ryan either; up to all hours renegotiating firewall rules and rerouting systems and whatever else he does involving computer mumbo jumbo.  (honestly, i really DO try to pay attention when he talks about work, i just usually have no idea what the heck he's talking ABOUT.)  but as of tomorrow, we will be back to our normal ward-and-june-cleaver selves.  that will be great.

i can't complain too loudly about this week as a whole.  ryan didn't leave until tuesday after lunch, aud and i have been pretty peaceful (albeit a little water-logged with all the rain we've had), and we girlies got to have a fun playdate today with becky and mallory.  becky and i have been friends for the last 20 years and have vascillated greatly between inseperable to not speaking at all.  for the most part, the non-speaking portions were usually a result of laziness rather than any serious issues.  now that i realize that, i'm not sure if that makes them better or worse...  that aside, she has a beautiful daughter, mallory, who is 4.  the age difference between 17 months and 4 is a bit much for playing together, but becky and i like to get together for one another's company more than for the benefit of our kids; the fact that they like to chase one another around for a few hours each month is just an added bonus.  i sure wish they didn't live quite so far away.

well, i still haven't eaten dinner yet today, but there's no food in the house that sounds even remotely appetizing.  i always get a sort of dinner-related cabin fever when ryan is gone.  it's like my brain can sense that i am stuck in the house, so it doesn't want any of the options that are readily available indoors.  i could order a pizza, but i think that might undo my 5 days of working out a bit more than i would like.  granted, we do have 3 pizzas in the freezer to choose from, but naturally those don't appeal to me one bit.  it's just like the title of this blog says:  "crazy is a full-time job," and don't i know it....  there are only so many granola bars one can consume in a day before craving something a bit more substantial.

off i go in search of sustainance!